This was submitted to us by author, Clyde James Aragon. He writes:

THE HEALTH REFORM PLAN TOWN HALL MEETING – THE NON-MUSICAL is a ten-minute comedy play about the health care ‘reform’ bill and is a humorous way of looking at a very scary situation. Curious, but informed citizens, meet at a town hall meeting to ask questions of their representatives on Health Care Reform.

This play is being distributed free of charge and the author, Clyde James Aragon, only asks that should it be performed, no admission be charged and that the author be given credit as having written it.

The author is an Albuquerque, New Mexico humor writer and can be reached at bookhumor@yahoo.com

You may also download the PDF here for printing out and potentially performing it at your next Tea Party event.

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THE HEALTH REFORM PLAN TOWN HALL MEETING
- THE NON-MUSICAL -

a one-act play by © Clyde James Aragon

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN
REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER
CITIZEN #1
CITIZEN #2
CITIZEN #3
CITIZEN #4

COMEDY: 10 pages. 6 characters to be played by: 3 men; 3 woman.

SYNOPSIS: Curious, but informed citizens, meet at a town hall meeting to ask questions of their representatives on Health Care Reform. This is a ten-minute comedy play about the health care ‘reform’ bill and is a humorous way of looking at a very scary situation.

PROPS: 6 folding chairs

* * * This play is being distributed free of charge and the author, Clyde James Aragon, only asks that should it be performed, no admission be charged and that the author be given credit as having written it. * * *

**************

THE HEALTH REFORM PLAN TOWN HALL MEETING
- THE NON-MUSICAL -

a one-act play by Clyde James Aragon

(on a bare stage, two politicians, seated in folding chairs, face four citizens intent on asking the politicians questions on their health reform plan)

CITIZEN #4 (addressing the audience and then sitting down): The other day there was a town hall meeting in Montana over the new health reform bill which was presented by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and passed by the House of Representatives. The public was invited and allowed to ask questions of the two members of the House of Representatives, Representative Bullhorn and Flowmaster, who showed up. Many things were said and, after adjourning quietly after three hours of questioning, these excerpts were extracted from the minutes of that meeting:

CITIZEN #1 (raising hand and then speaking): Representative Bullhorn, the new House health care plan is almost 2,000-pages long. How do you expect anyone to read it, let alone understand it?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: We, meaning your government, are teaming up with the Marvel Comics people to develop a comic book character called Health Reform Man who will explain, in simple laymen terms, what our health reform proposal is all about.

CITIZEN #2: Will Cleopatra, Queen of the Vampire Underworld, feature in this?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Yes, and after explaining what our plan is about, she, Health Reform Man, and the A.C.O.R.N. Posse will go out and fight the various nemeses of our plan such as Greedy Insurance Monster, Private Fee-For-Service Doctor Thing, Alarmist Talk Show Host Ogre, and, of course, everyone in the Republican Party with the exception of moderate Republicans who want to hitch their star to a winner.

CITIZEN #1: Won’t a comic book be considered propaganda?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: No. What people are saying against this plan is propaganda. Our comic book is info-entertainment. And it will be distributed free of cost through the mail, at welfare offices, and in hospital waiting rooms everywhere. Right, Representative Bullhorn?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: We want everyone in America to have health care and the only way to accomplish that goal is for government to provide it.

CITIZEN #1: This is just socialized medicine.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: What else would you expect? We’re social creatures. We socialize. We’re sociable. We go to ice cream socials, we join the PTA, we volunteer to wash cars on the weekend. Could we give to the social people of this country anything less than a plan which doesn’t take into account their inbred social nature? I daresay not.

CITIZEN #1: But you’re taking away choice.

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: No we’re not. There’s so much choice in our plan you can’t help but want it. Especially if you’re sociable. However, if you’re anti-social you’ll be able to pay a small annual fee and opt out, leaving yourself to find your own health care in backroom alleys, parking lots, through self-help books, and on the Internet.

CITIZEN #3: Why should we pay any fee?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Actually, this isn’t really a fee. It is a yearly reminder that a better way of life is available through your government.

CITIZEN #4: Won’t illegal aliens be covered?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: No. Absolutely not.

CITIZEN #1: But all you’d need would be a few court rulings and they’d be in.

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: That’ll never happen.

CITIZEN #2: What about space aliens. Would they be covered?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Of course space aliens won’t be covered. That would break the system.

CITIZEN #2: Since we’re on the subject, will this health plan cover space-related diseases.
REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Like what?

CITIZEN #2: Euphoria, for example.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: SRDs won’t be covered.
(Representative Flowmaster whispers into Bullhorn’s ear)
Uh, wait. An amendment has been introduced covering space-related diseases but only as brought to earth by NASA space missions.
(Representative Flowmaster again whispers into Bullhorn’s ear)
Uh, an amendment to the amendment has been introduced which covers all space-related diseases.

CITIZEN #1: Your plan calls for end-of-life counseling. Is euthanasia covered by this plan?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Absolutely not.

CITIZEN #4: Isn’t abortion a form of euthanasia? That’s going to be covered.

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Abortion is the removal of a troublesome human-like blob of protoplasm that, for all intents and purposes, is not human. Except in Hawaii where it’s considered a type of chicken nugget.

CITIZEN #2: I love chicken nuggets. Will free chicken nuggets come with this plan?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Yes, along with the special sauce of your choice.

CITIZEN #1: Poll after poll says Americans don’t want this plan. Yet you seem intent on forcing this down our throat – the public be damned. Isn’t the Democrat Party returning us to the days of Taxation without Representation?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: The Democrat Party always represents the people, some more than others.

CITIZEN #3: Didn’t Taxation without Representation lead to the American Revolution?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Americans, at that time, were protesting the lack of government involvement in their lives. We shall fulfill that nascent yearning.

CITIZEN #2: In the song “Heartache Tonight” by The Eagles, they sing: “There’s gonna be a heartache tonight/A heartache tonight, I know/There’s gonna be a heartache tonight/A heartache tonight, I know”. Does this refer to a real heartache or an existential heartache and would break-ups be covered by this plan?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: We believe The Eagles referred to an ontological heartache which, most definitely, would be covered. The pain of breaking up can’t be ignored as it was in the previous administration which, as we all know, wanted to kill everyone and eat their dripping internal organs.

CITIZEN #4: You say the plan would only cost 900 billion dollars. How do you know that for sure?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Because we’re your representatives. We would never lie to you. The only ones who would lie are Republicans and conservatives who lie about everything.

CITIZEN #1: You’re saying this plan will cost about 900 billion dollars. Isn’t that just an introductory price?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: No, it really, truly, cross my heart is what it will cost.

CITIZEN #3: Still, how do you expect to pay for this?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: We’re proposing, among other things, a millionaire tax. I think the greedy, filthy rich should have to pay back the money they’ve stolen from this country.

CITIZEN #1; All you talk about is taxing the rich. You believe they’re just going to willingly go along with your plan and turn their money over to you?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Yes.

CITIZEN #1: So you’re assuming the rich are stupid, then?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Oh, believe me, the rich are very stupid.

CITIZEN #3: Aren’t you a millionaire yourself?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Honestly, I’ve been working so hard ever since I came to Washington I haven’t had a chance to look at my bank statement. Nevertheless, if I’m a millionaire, and I’m not saying I am, but if I might possibly be a millionaire, I’ll be subject to this new tax after taking into account congressional expenses, refunds, postage, envelopes, and all the time I donate to worthy causes.

CITIZEN #4: What worthy causes?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Puppies. I lead the House caucus on puppy welfare. Damn it, no one’s going to mistreat puppies in this country if I have anything to say about it.

CITIZEN #2: That’s wonderful. I have a puppy. Her name is Sheila.

CITIZEN #3: What are the other ways you propose to pay for this?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: We’re going to introduce a tax on all medical devices such as monitors, x-ray machines, pacemakers, things like that.

CITIZEN #2: Do Band-Aid brand bandages constitute a medical device?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: If applied properly.

CITIZEN #4: What else?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Lipstick.

CITIZEN #3: Lipstick?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: It adds moisturizing substances which keep your lips from drying up. Thus, it is a moisture dispenser.

CITIZEN #2: Would a Slurpee machine also be considered a moisture dispenser?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Don’t be silly. Slurpee machines are ‘calorie’ dispensers. They would be subject to a fine, not a tax.

CITIZEN #1: I’ve heard you’re going to cut payments to doctors.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Damn right. It’s high time our nation’s greedy physicians start paying us back for their lavish lifestyles. Big cars, big houses, big meals. Let ‘em eat bologne like the rest of us.

CITIZEN #2: You’ve eaten bologne?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Once. And I loved it.

CITIZEN #3: Won’t that just chase off doctors?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Look, my friend, these greedy doctors have to be taught a lesson. We’re going to really stick it to them for gouging us for so long.

CITIZEN #3: You don’t expect to have surgery anytime soon, I take it.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Hell no. I’m fit as a fiddle.

CITIZEN #4: Would you politicians be subject to this new health plan?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Unfortunately, no. We tried to find a way to add ourselves to this marvelous health care plan but it only would have increased the cost and we put our foot down at having to increase it even one dime more.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: To that end, we also have some very exciting cost-cutting proposals. And we know everyone in this room wants the government to save money.

CITIZEN #1: I’ll bite. What kind of cost-cutting proposals?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: These are brilliant. I even came up with a few. For example, instead of hip or knee replacement we’ll offer crutches; instead of physical exams and X-rays, we’ll offer a soothing walk through any airport security screening machine as a substitute; and we’ve known for quite some time that most brain surgeries can be avoided with aspirin.

CITIZEN #3: What’s next, replacing heart transplants with obituaries?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Ooh, that’s good. I’ll submit that one the minute I get back to Washington. You’ve got the spirit.

CITIZEN #4: If the government wants to take over the medical system of this country, why not every other business in America?

CITIZEN #1: Yeah. I’m sure you’ll give us the customer care of the Post Office, the repair record of the Park Service, and the efficiency of Amtrak. Oh, and I’m sure you’ll continue to take our money like the IRS.

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: Believe me, we’re working on it.

CITIZEN #3: Your plan demands that employers provide health insurance or else. Wouldn’t companies just stop hiring new workers and giving raises?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: Nonsense. Of course companies will hire new workers. If not, we’ll mandate they increase employment every year. That alone will end unemployment forever in this country.

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: And as for you not getting a raise, well, what poppycock. You’re worth a raise. I’m worth a raise. In fact, I get a raise every year.

CITIZEN #1: Many people have said this plan is too expensive, takes away from our freedoms, and allows the government the opportunity to take over a sixth of the economy. They say the same goals can be accomplished in other, less expensive and less intrusive, ways. Why aren’t these avenues being pursued?

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN: We can’t be chasing after rainbows all our lives. Obviously these ‘other people’ you speak of live in an insulated fantasy world.

CITIZEN #3: But isn’t chasing this crazy expensive plan a lot like watching the captain of the Titanic trying to keep the ice machine going as his ship slips into the cold water?

REPRESENTATIVE FLOWMASTER: We’ve seen the numbers, the data, the costs. We know what we’re talking about. (getting up) Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to get back to Washington.

REPRESENTATIVE BULLHORN (also getting up): We have an important vote on puppy health care coming up early tomorrow morning. We can’t miss that.

- end of play -

I apologize to the wonderful Free State Project for bastardizing their efforts with such a suggestion, but I am quite serious. Instead of putting energy into calling the Obama administration socialists why not abandon the petty, kindergarten-style, partisan bickering and look within? Come up with a new 1994-style “Contract With America” but this time don’t renege on the contract. It should not be called anything similar to “Contract With America” though. Yes, that bad taste is still lingering.

Dubbing it “The Free Country Project” and making more than a half-assed effort to bring libertarianism back into the GOP could be a winning formula. Of course, many will have to tuck their neo-con tails between their legs and embrace Ron Paul and his libertarian friends. I’m not talking about a macho homophobic half-hearted embrace here. I’m talking about a full-on bear hug that will make gawkers worry about dropping the soap in the GOP country club shower.

The principles that should go in The Free Country Project are quite simple to find. In fact those principles were codified into a rulebook that every lawmaker must take an oath to uphold. Yet once most of them set foot on DC soil they begin thinking, “What oath?”

The Free Country Project should be a promise to restore the Constitution as the “supreme law of the land.” If that promise is made and the GOP begins behaving like grown-ups again the sky is the limit. It may take a long time to touch the clouds again, but at least there will be an upward trajectory.

So here are my humble recommendations for successfully restoring the GOP, the five guiding principles of  The Free Country Project:

1. Promise to follow the Constitution and do so.
2. Behave like grown-ups.
3. Watch what Lindsey Graham does and do the opposite.
4. Listen to what Lindsey Graham says and say the opposite.
5. Fear the soap.

Do all of this and the GOP may be able to declare the Obama honeymoon over right before socialized medicine starts killing off old people to ease the Social Security burden.

NOTE: Another name considered was “The 9-13 Project”. If I can steal from real libertarians (Free State Project) then I can certainly steal from pseudo-libertarians like Glenn Beck (9-12 Project). If Glenn Beck and I were contestants on the Price Is Right I would amuse myself silly by bidding one dollar more than him every time. And Beck being Beck, it wouldn’t shock me if he ended up crying about it on the air.

It was a rather classy move by Clinton I must say. We even got to hear here infamous cackle when the chair of the committee said following her remarks, “Now your going to encourage them!”

Check out the lovefest below which also includes Ron Paul’s full question.

Watch for the Ron Paul blimp cameo.

Cohen’s take-no-prisoners approach to comedy is fine as long as you aren’t the one being duped. He’s duped some of the more popular modern politicians, journalists, and celebrities. His punked list includes Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, Bob Barr, C. Everett Koop, Donald Trump, John McCain, Noam Chomsky, Ralph Nader, Andy Rooney, and now Ron Paul.

Cohen is not a political puppet aiming to shame anyone. His goal is to entertain and make people laugh. In doing so he raises the level of awareness, or the “brand” of his target. In Ron Paul’s case this means more people will know who he is. Is this the kind of notoriety Ron Paul wants? Not likely. I’d much rather people associate Ron Paul with being the “most honest politician” in DC as John McCain said of him rather than being the guy Bruno tried to seduce.

However, there will be some people who see Cohen’s movie and wonder, “Who is Ron Paul?” They will then do some research and learn that Ron Paul is not your typical politician. They may eventually end up being Ron Paul supporters. On the flip side, those that base their political support decisions solely on what they saw in a movie are lost causes from the start.

Don’t complain. Let Sacha Baron Cohen/Ali G/Borat/Bruno do what he does. Ron Paul will continue doing what he does. Use Paul’s big screen comedic debut to help spread the message of liberty to more minds.

Imagine this scenario unfolding between you and a liberty ignorant friend after having seen the movie:

You: What was your favorite part of the movie?

Friend: I liked the part when Bruno pulled down his pants in front of that political guy.

You: Ron Paul?

Friend: Yes. He ran away in fear like a homophobe.

You: Well, he is in his 70’s and a bit old school, but he’s the best politician I’ve ever known. He’s honest and down to earth unlike the rest of the bozos in DC. You should check him out online. There are hundreds of videos on Youtube with him. That will give you a picture of who he is better than what you saw in the movie… but I agree with you that scene was funny as hell.

Friend: Cool, I’ll check him out.

And just like that you may have created a new Ron Paul supporting liberty lover. Sure, I’ll be laughing with the rest when I see “Bruno” after it comes out on July 10th, but after the movie I’ll get to work framing the Paulian message to anyone who will listen.

Ron Paul appearing in what will be a huge summer movie seen by millions of people is no liability. Instead it presents an opportunity, if handled properly, to spread the freedom message to more people.

Adding to all of the beyond ridiculus Obama coins, dolls, buttons, underwear, halos and toast comes Obama Fingers. No, you won’t be able to put batteries in them and massage your back to the self-enriching sounds of Obama’s “Yes we can!” voice in your ears. These fingers taste like chicken.

Photo: AP

From the Guardian UK:

A company in German(sic) has just introduced a line of snacks called “Obama Fingers”: frozen chicken fingers with curry dip. To Americans, marketing a fried chicken dish with the name of our first African-American president instantly tingles our sensitivity to racial stereotyping and racist imagery.

The author prattles on about the apparent racism in such a move. Then asks if it is racist if the company putting out the product claims it was ignorant of such stereotypes?

It’s only “racist” to someone who looks at them and thinks… “oh lord, that is racist!” I look at them and see the chicken fingers are breaded and fried, and come with a curry dip. I then think… mmm yummy. Then I think, what an incredibly stupid name for a food product.

I can certainly see how someone may be offended by Obama Fingers, but don’t we have more to be worried about than whether or not a German company puts out a product that may or may not be offensive?

The Democrats in the House adored Obama’s package. Only 12 Democrats shunned the package. Not a single Republican was turned on by it.

Obama then exposed it to the Senate. He met privately with Republican Senators to show it off. They came away unimpressed.

Republicans chose a leader to show off a package of their own. Even though they complained it was too big, they revealed an even larger package.

Meanwhile, the citizens of America are starting to get worried. And for good reason.

It seems that the longer the debate goes on the bigger the package will be. And they know that the bigger the package the more it’s going to hurt.

Wait… are we still talking about the economy?

No matter, the people always get screwed in the end.

Hmm… that last bit didn’t come out quite right either. I think I’ll just stop typing.

This video really summed up the Ron Paul campaign in my view. The video’s theme is now more relevant than ever due to the financial crisis and the Federal Reserve’s insistence on printing money to combat the crisis.

So on the first day of 2009 let us look back a year and see one of the better videos from Ron Paul’s autonomous mini-revolution of grassroots supporters.

The first is about children. I have a five-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. As I ponder the future potential for economic calamity with worry I also witness very small moments of pure joy at their excitement over Christmas. It makes me realize that I will do anything for them because I cannot feel a more stronger love than I feel for them. Children are imperfect liberty seekers, but seek it they do every single day. Jack Handey said it best when he wrote:

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

The second quote is a dedication to the exiting Bush administration and every single U.S. President who believed in an interventionist foreign policy. Also, anyone in a position of power who is a proponent of the oxymoron: Peace through war. Again, these are Jack Handey’s words:

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”

Merry Christmas and keep your liberty fire burning through 2009 and beyond.

Well, I admit it is something from my own rather morbid and twisted mind. To understand what I’m talking about let us take a journey together.

Below is a picture of a new medical device approved by the FDA. Doctor’s are now permitted to prescribe its use by elderly and disabled patients. Not only that, but since it is a medical device it can be paid for with Medicare funds.

Here is the device:

FDA Approved Inhaler?

To me it looks a bit like some sort of medical injection device, perhaps an inhaler? I could certainly visualize millions of our aging baby boomers utilizing it in such a way.

Well, that would be a fatal mistake. You see this innocuous looking device dispenses a special type of medicine: a 9mm bullet. In fact, the device is a Palm Pistol from Constitution Arms, manufactured specifically for the elderly and disabled as a self-defense device. It was recently approved as a Class I Medical Device by the FDA which means it qualifies for reimbursement funds from Medicare and private health insurance companies.

By now you see where I’m going with this bit of morbidity. There’s enough here to annoy liberal gun grabbers and limited government advocates alike, but it seems to me that the FDA has figured out a way to indirectly help with reducing future Social Security payments.

A recent book of fiction by Christopher Buckley called “Boomsday” explored the idea of government sponsored suicide for those over a certain age as a solution to the Social Security problem. Certainly humorous as satire but apparently, the FDA has found a similar real life approach.

The big question is how much will the government save as the elderly start accidentally offing themselves and purposefully offing others using this device? Hopefully the FDA performed a cost analysis that told them the amount saved is greater than the amount spent from the Medicare coffers, otherwise we are merely emptying water from one side of the pool into the other side of the same pool. That sounds eerily familiar… Oh yes, remember this year’s economic stimulus package that worked so well?

Our future:

“No Grandma that is NOT YOUR INHALE… [POP] … uh-oh.”

We live in interesting times.

What is a czar anyway? An online dictionary says the following:

1. also tsar or tzar (zär, tsär) A male monarch or emperor, especially one of the emperors who ruled Russia until the revolution of 1917.
2. A person having great power; an autocrat: “the square-jawed, ruddy complacency of Jack Farrell, the czar of the Fifteenth Street police station” (Ernest Hemingway).
3. Informal An appointed official having special powers to regulate or supervise an activity: a racetrack czar; an energy czar.

Let us all cross our fingers and hope that Obama’s definition is number 3 and not number 1 or 2. It seems to me a person aiming to distance himself from the past 8 years of George W. Bush’s “autocratic” style of leadership would eliminate this word from his vocabulary. Instead Obama seems to be embracing the concept, even promoting it as an essential part of his coming administration.

Once the definition is solidified it becomes quite an oxymoron to even conceive of such a title as Liberty Czar. What is Ron Paul supposed to do with such status? Enforce liberty and freedom with his heavy hand of authority? Hardly a realistic endeavor for someone who preaches against spreading freedom by the barrel of a gun. Of course my example here is ridiculous, but so is this entire czar for everything concept being touted by our president-elect.

The most recent czar idea leaking out from the Obama interlopers is a Car Czar. This government official (or committee) will have some kind of regulatory authority over the downward spiraling auto industry and its relationship to the federal government. Someone please tell me how this is not a form of the same corporatism (fascism even) that angers so many about George W. Bush? Yet more change I can’t believe in.

Obama’s promise to create these new offices of authority should leave those that call themselves “progressives” dancing in the streets. That is until the new Street Safety Czar is appointed and street dancing is forbidden. We don’t want to put more people at risk of hurting themselves and thereby having to make use of the newly created yet bankrupt universal health care system. We don’t want to upset the Health Care Czar any more than he already is.

I imagine Obama’s new “Czar Council” meeting weekly planning how to best regulate their own areas of interest. If there’s any saving grace these Czars will not have direct lawmaking authority. That is, unless Obama figures out how to completely reinvent the Constitution. However, they will have great lobbying power to influence the debate amongst those eager-to-ass-kiss parasites on Capitol Hill.

All of this czar business will be selectively released through the mainstream media outlets by the same Mainstream Media Czar that put out a guide to attacking Ron Paul in late December of last year. Of course that particular czar was created by Bush. This is yet more proof that Obama’s version of hope and change will be nothing more than Bush 2.0.

NOTE: This article is meant as satire (partly). We don’t want the newly appointed Humor Czar to come after us for not disclosing all the facts.

ABU KAMAL, SYRIA – Imperial American military helicopters launched yet another preemptive attack into yet another sovereign nation.  They managed to kill eight (8) people in a lethal strike on Sunday.  The Syrian government said all eight (8) dead were civilian, including four (4) children.

(AP Source) (Photo source)

A government spokesman in Damascus was quoted as thinking “we would have returned fire if we had even a 1% chance of winning against this military juggernaut without having our country laid waste, most likely with the eager help of Israeli’s nuclear-armed, trigger-happy theocratic air force.”  A Russian government official was laughing too hard at the irony of the attack to be quoted, most likely in regards to the American allegations on a recent failed invasion of South Ossetia by the US-backed Georgia.

A U.S. military official said the raid by Special Forces targeted the foreign fighter network that travels through Syria into Iraq. The Americans have been unable to shut the network down in the area since Syria is a sovereign nation and attacking it without provocation or declaration of war with just cause is a violation of both the US Constitution and international law.

“We are taking matters into our own hands,” an official told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because of the political sensitivity of cross-border raids.   When asked if Congress was consulted to authorize the attack, his face went blank for a moment before responding with “Syria is just a small sovereign nation.  If we had decided to attack a much larger nation like Pakistan or China, we would have asked President Bush first.”  When this reporter remarked that the United States is already launching raids into Pakistan, the official snapped back, “Of course I knew that, and yes, we did ask President Bush beforehand in a secret July meeting.  Shut up and go vote McBama since policing the Afghani-Pakistan border is top priority during this financial crisis.”

On Thursday, US Major General John Kelly said in reference to the border, “The Syrian side is, I guess, uncontrolled by their side,” Kelly said. “We still have a certain level of foreign fighter movement.”  He added that the U.S. was helping construct a sand berm and ditches along the border. “There hasn’t been much, in the way of a physical barrier, along that border for years.  We need it to keep the Mexicans from stealing all of the good jobs from the Iraqis, and to seal the Iraqis inside their own country.  The populace has been devastated enough already.”

The flow of “foreign fighters” (were they not “insurgents” just a month ago?) into Iraq has been cut to an estimated 20 a month, a senior U.S. military intelligence official told the Associated Press in July.  Eighteen (18) foreign fighters, or 90% percent per month enter through Syria, according to U.S. intelligence. The other two are entering via underground tunnels from Iran and Kuwait.  Foreigners are some of the most deadly fighters in Iraq, trained in bomb-making and with small-arms expertise and more likely to be willing suicide bombers than Iraqis, say US intelligence survey results taken at the both the border crossing and the messy post-mortems.

_____________________________________________________________

End of satire.  Sort of.  For the zillionth time in this column, I note that Congress must declare war, otherwise preemptive military attacks on sovereign countries are in direct violation of the Constitution of the United States, Article I, Section 8, Clause 11.

It is also interesting to read the Syrian side from this 10/27 press conference.  It does appear they said quite a bit more than the AP was willing to quote:

Samia Nakhoul, Reuters: Could you tell us exactly what happened yesterday? We’d like to hear your account.

Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Muallem (FM): I don’t understand and I’m astonished by this aggression. Yesterday, around 5pm, four American helicopters crossed the border from Iraq. Around 8km from the border inside Syrian territory, there’s a farm. Two helicopters landed, and the other two were protecting them. Soldiers came out from these two helicopters, and started shooting to kill civilians who work in the farm. They killed four of one family – the father and three children – the guard and his wife. They also killed a fisherman who was fishing from the Euphrates River outside the farm. All of them are civilian Syrians, unarmed. They were on Syrian territory. Killing civilians in international law is a terrorist aggression. The Americans do it during daylight. This means it’s not a mistake. It was done with planned determination. For that, we put the responsibility for this criminal and terrorist aggression on the American government. They need to investigate and come back to us with the result and explanation why they did this.

Fox News: Why didn’t the American government approach Syria in dealing with this issue? Why was there no communication?

FM: The US surprised everybody by this aggression. Now if they claim that there were some terrorist activities of Al Qaida or others, they know very well that we stand against Al Qaida. We condemn their activities against the Iraqi people, and they know very well that we’re doing our utmost to control the borders with Iraq. So the question is why then this aggression? We want to know.

CNN: If the Americans do this again, would you use force to deter them?

FM: If they do it again, we’ll defend our territories. Do you think it’s valid to sacrifice other people’s lives and civilian lives? Does the election validate the sacrifice of human lives as an instrument? Is this the human rights you’re promising others?

Question: Are you going to take the case to the Security Council?

FM: Unfortunately, as long as there’s America in the Security Council, there’s no democracy in international relations.

Associated Press: How do you respond to suggestions that the US said Syria has to stop foreign fighters?

FM: We’re not their employee to protect their aggression and occupation, and then they blame us by killing our civilians.

CNN: The Americans have been saying for a long time that terrorist are trotting over the borders. Did they give you any evidence?

FM: They never present evidence. We work closely with the Iraqi security authority, not the American authority. We exerted our utmost efforts, but nobody can seal the border 100%. You know from the American experience with Mexico, but we did our best. Unfortunately, we don’t have a partner on the other side of the border to share information and to help tighten the borders. Anyway, as General Petraeus said many times, until recently, the Syrians exerted their utmost effort in controlling the borders. What happened yesterday is unjustified.

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We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

As always, unlike the NFL, the author grants full permission to allow any accounts of, rebroadcasts, retransmissions, repostings in part or full of this article to your blog or anywhere else in order to promote the Restoration of our Republic.

Veritas numquam perit. Veritas odit moras. Veritas vincit. Truth never perishes. Truth hates delay. Truth conquers.

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Police State Stomps on Iraq Veteran’s Face as McBama Sanctions Attack on Freedom of Speech: The Story of the Hempstead 15 (Part 1/3)
Published: October 25, 2008
What? Yet another event the media completely missed? After multiple attempts to engage McBama to answer their questions, the Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) led a peaceful march on the last McCain-Obama Presidential Debate and were met with 30 mounted police and a horde of others in riot gear. The mounted police stamped on an Iraq war veteran’s face and attacked the crowd. Ron Paul supporter and veteran Adam Kokesh was arrested as well.

Police State Stomps on Iraq Veteran’s Face as McBama Sanctions Attack on Freedom of Speech – The Palin Response, Ron Paul, and an Iraq War Vet’s Testimony (Part 2/3)

US Soldier 2008 Body Count in Afghanistan Sets All-Time High
Published: October 5, 2008
Imagine you are in a room, alone with 20 American soldiers for one day. At sunset, all their bodies thud to the floor, stone dead. At dawn, 20 more enter the room and again die at sunset. It repeats every day for 7 years. It will repeat tomorrow. This is what I know of their story, their sad statistics.

WAR! America Attacks Pakistan

FDIC Gives Alpha Bank the Axe!

NY Times Reports the Banks Say They Will Hoard their Bailout Cash-Loot

An Anti-Ron Paul Deflationary Economic Theory

The Money Matrix – Prelude (PART 1/15)

My Father’s Vietnam is My Iraq – Disturbing Parallels

Summary of Articles for Jake, the Champion of the Constitution (10/19/2008)