Liberty MavenThe United States of Two Americas
December 27th, 2009 1:00 pm | by Mike Miller | Published in Big Government, Humor, Politics, Respite From The Norm | 7 Responses
by Clyde James Aragon
As the difference between Republicans and Democrats intensifies, as their arguments become shriller, as the national deficit approaches critical mass, it’s obvious we’ve reached the point where conservatives and liberals simply can’t live together. We bicker endlessly over taxation, government control, school prayer, and the Second Amendment. We don’t even speak the same language these days. For instance:
Liberal: The land belongs to the people, man. It’s social justice that allows us to walk freely upon the earth.
Conservative: Get off my lawn, damnit!
However, rather than partition America and try to divide its property evenly, there is one way we could still coexist. That is, create separate national corporate entities and activities apart from each other which would meet the wants and needs of each group. We would have separate sales buildings and work and play areas all well-lit and properly demarcated so that no one would accidentally enter and be offended by what he or she saw. Here’s what we would find in a new America:
Liberal Motors: products: Toyota Prius, Honda Civic, Chevy Aveo, Mini Cooper, skateboards, roller skates, pogo sticks
Conservative Motors: products: Cadillac Escalade, Chevy Tahoe, Ford Explorer, Sherman tank, air craft carrier
McObama’s: products: horchata, tofu, soybean curd, hummus (remember, hummus IS people)
McDonald’s: products: Pepsi, fries, Big Macs, bigger Macs, heart attack Macs
Liberal Heating Corporation: products: solar energy, wind power, bicycle generators, wool blankets
Conservative Heating Corporation: products: gas, oil, nuclear energy, coal, ski jackets
Liberal News Media: products: Air America, New York Times, AnyBS TV news
Conservative News Media: products: Rush Limbaugh EIB network, Wall Street Journal, Fox TV
Liberal Law Enforcement: products: Eric Holder, PeeWee Herman, ACLU
Conservative Law Enforcement: products: Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Dick Tracy, Judge Judy
Liberal Shoe Store: products: Birkenstock, Rockport, Timberland, Ugg, Nike, Reebok
Conservative Shoe Store: products: whatever’s on sale
Liberal National Security: products: Peace Corps
Conservative National Security: products: Navy Seals, Army Rangers, Marine Corps
Liberal Health Care Provider: products: witch doctors, over-the-counter medicine, obituaries
Conservative Health Care Provider: products: Mayo Clinic, prescription medicines, tanning salons
Liberal Sports Activities: products: squash, croquet, soccer, planting trees, crocheting, running away from fights
Conservative Sports Activities: products: baseball, football, boxing, hunting, fishing, beating up liberals
As you can see, the nation could be preserved well past the next election if we all decided to agree to disagree and hang out in places where we could rub elbows with the people we honestly respect. So let’s give unity a chance before it’s too late.
Oh, and stay off my lawn.
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December 27th, 2009 at 6:49 pm (#)
what If we are A libertarian Conservative and don't like Neo-Cons? then what? I Have always seen Rush as a Neo-Con Schill.
December 27th, 2009 at 6:49 pm (#)
what If we are A libertarian Conservative and don't like Neo-Cons? then what? I Have always seen Rush as a Neo-Con Schill.
December 28th, 2009 at 12:08 am (#)
Actually, I don't see that much difference between Republicans and Democrats, except over cosmetic issues, or, once every few years, over something like Obamacare.
Ultimately, they both hate freedom. They just take different approaches, playing the circus for we the people, fooling we the people into believing there are meaningful differences. While, in reality, they hand control back and forth so they can kill off liberty one little piece at a time.
December 28th, 2009 at 12:08 am (#)
Actually, I don't see that much difference between Republicans and Democrats, except over cosmetic issues, or, once every few years, over something like Obamacare.
Ultimately, they both hate freedom. They just take different approaches, playing the circus for we the people, fooling we the people into believing there are meaningful differences. While, in reality, they hand control back and forth so they can kill off liberty one little piece at a time.
December 28th, 2009 at 2:49 pm (#)
Unfortunately the media and society as a whole incourages the differences between left and right. In the mean time the people running this country take advantage of that split and keep the centrists running from one side of the fence to the other. We need to wake up and abolish this two party system.
December 28th, 2009 at 4:40 pm (#)
James I agree, Although it took me some time to see this coming from the hard right conservative camp. Thankfully, I stumbled onto Austrian Economics and then libertarian websites such as this one that opened my mind to the basic truth that you present in your comment.
If we had more of the 'liberty' view on the mainstream media I do think we would see more conservatives move toward libertarian principles. (liberals as well, although I see more hope for conservatives IMO) I'm still hoping to see the Judge have his own primetime show. This would open some eyes and move our country toward constitutional principles again.
Cheers,
Jason
December 28th, 2009 at 4:40 pm (#)
James I agree, Although it took me some time to see this coming from the hard right conservative camp. Thankfully, I stumbled onto Austrian Economics and then libertarian websites such as this one that opened my mind to the basic truth that you present in your comment.
If we had more of the 'liberty' view on the mainstream media I do think we would see more conservatives move toward libertarian principles. (liberals as well, although I see more hope for conservatives IMO) I'm still hoping to see the Judge have his own primetime show. This would open some eyes and move our country toward constitutional principles again.
Cheers,
Jason